War...It sucks!

I have come to the conclusion that War absolutely sucks! I remember when we went to war originally back in March of 2003. My friend Tim Stewart was ready to go the instant there was even a hint of war. I wonder why that was. Now he's been there for 3 months, and he says he is having a good time. How can you have a good time amongst death and destruction. It was pretty cool when he told me that he is getting to see a lot of places that are mentioned in the Bible. If that is what he's referring to when he says he's having a good time, than I understand. I want Tim to come home, but that won't happen for 9 more months.

Since we've been in California, Justin and I have become very close to another military man. His story is different than Tim's, in the fact that he absolutely hates being in the military. He doesn't hate the military, persay, but he sees it as a job and nothing else. He got shoved into the war when he had barely turned 18. He joined the Marine Corps at the age of 17, because his parents wanted him to clean up his act, and then he got sent to Iraq and was a part of the original destruction of that country. We don't ask him about it, because it tears him up, but we know he had to kill lots of people. Now that he's been home for a while, he is going to be sent back. I don't want him to go. He has become a good friend to Justin and I, and it just reminds me that war tears friends/families apart.

I don't really know where I'm going with this post, but I think I just wanted to get it across to everyone that I hate war! I am not against President Bush, but I do hate the fact that we had to go to war.

Did it really go by that fast?

Yesterday, May 24, was my 1st wedding anniversary. It was a very cool day, but it's sparked some interesting thoughts for me. Q#1) Am I really old enough to be married? A#1) Yes, I guess. Q#2) Am I really mature enough to be married? A#2) It depends on who you talk to. Q#3) Do I know how to be a Godly wife? A#3) I can only hope and pray. And the list goes on. Justin has assured me that most of these things are very true, and that I need not worry. But I know I will still doubt myself from time to time. The attribute that I want to strive the hardest for is being a Godly wife. It means more to me than I ever thought it would, because Justin deserves the best. He deserves to have a wife who seeks God's will, and will constantly strive to/be do anything he needs. I want to be his confidant, I want to be his helper, I want to be his sounding board for sermons and lessons, I want to be his friend, I want to be the bride that Christ compares His church to. Man, I definitely have a lot to live up to.

When I got home from work, Justin took me to my new favorite Japanese restaurant, Benihana. I already had a love for Japanese food (cooked, not that raw crap), but this place just makes the food even better. We had fun watching the chef chop things up, bang on the grill, do a little show to impress us. I've always thought it was funny how the Japanese restaurants rely on their chefs to entertain the customers. Anyways...it was great food, great service, and it was my anniversary!
Then he took me down to Santa Monica to walk down the Third Street Promenade, which is this really cool outdoor mall. This place is cool, because you get to see no-name people (who are just praying that some big recording company executive will walk by and hear their self-written ballads) about every 50 feet singing and putting on their own little mini-concert to the passers-by. You also can do any kind of shopping you want, because there are clothing stores, restaurants, an Apple store(which we unfortunately had to stop in), shoe stores, basically a mall.
Then we were going to go down to the beach, but the walkway was forever away and it was already 9:45 (we still had 30 minutes to drive home), and anyone who knows me well, knows that I'm not truly coherent past the time of 10:00pm. So we just stood and watched the ocean from up on the pedestrian's sidewalk for a little while. It was very romantic.

So, after this first year with my husband, I can truly say, that this has been the greatest year of my life. I have grown, and I have been stretched beyond what I thought was possible, but it has been great! Living with alone with a guy is hard work, especially for someone as detail-oriented, neat-freakish, and picky as I am. I know that I shouldn't try to "train" Justin to be the person I want, but I do hope he'll learn to pick up some of my more anal habits, so that I don't have to work as hard at home anymore.

There is one thing I know for sure...I love Justin with all my heart. You forever have my heart, Buddy!

Am I truly prepared for life outside the LCC bubble?

I just had lunch with one of the nicest people I've met since I've been here in California. He works with me at the Hilton, and is the only person that consistently goes out of his way to say hi to me. There's just one thing that makes me a little uncomfortable being around him. He's very flamboyantly(sp?) gay. I've never really met anyone who was gay, so Cesar's friendship is very different for me.

For the first month I worked here, he didn't know that I was a Christian, or that my husband was a pastor. When he found out, he got angry with me, because the only Christians he's known, have turned their backs on him and said he was "dirty." I had to explain to him that I would NEVER turn my back on him just because he chose this lifestyle. I said I didn't agree with the way he lived, but I would never judge him because of it. It took some convincing, but he finally came around to the fact that I wasn't going to drop him as a friend.

Now, my main goal is to show him love. Justin is trying to help too, by coming in and talking to Cesar when he can. Cesar's not quite sure what to think of Justin yet, but he's liking him more and more (in the purely platonic sense). Today we were supposed to have lunch at work together, because he said he needed to talk to me about something. I was so excited, because I thought maybe I would be able to talk to him about Christ. Instead, our general manager ate with us, so we couldn't really talk. I was a little bummed, because I was really hoping he would just ask me what I believe, and why.

We have talked about the Passion movie, but it didn't really affect him. He just said it was not news to him that Jesus died in that way, and he was shocked that people would take it personal. I explained that for myself, it was a reminder that I am the reason Christ was up on that Cross. Even though I wasn't born till many years later, I had a direct hand in causing Jesus to be brutally beaten and killed up on the cross. Cesar just looked at me and said, well, I guess.

How do I talk to him? I find it very difficult to just come out and talk to him about stuff, unless he asks me. Am I truly making a difference in his life? I don't know...maybe I just provide a good source of entertainment. Am I pleasing God by just being his friend, and not rebuking him because of his lifestyle? It's a question that will always be in the back of my head.

Does any of this make sense?

Will someone tell me how?

Will someone please tell me how to add other people's blog pages onto my own? I want to show links to their pages.

Grief in Heyworth

Today has been good. I didn't have to wear my daily suit to work, which was nice. Instead, I got to wear a Hawaiian shirt and casual skirt. I am the Sales Coordinator here at the Hilton Garden Inn Valencia Six Flags, and today myself and my boss threw a Hawaiian themed party for our corporate clients. It went well, and made the day go by very fast! That was the nice part.

Then I came back to my office to see what kind of messages I got while I was at the party. My mom had emailed me to let me know the tragedy that happened in my hometown. Apparantly, some kids had gone out partying this past weekend. On their way home, the driver rolled the car and was killed instantly. Two of the kids had only minor injuries, and the other kid was put in the ICU unit at the hospital. During the funeral for the driver, the school got word that the kid in the ICU had finally died as well. They've been having prayer services almost every night since then, and they're even thinking about canceling the high school finals, because 2 of the kids were still in high school and the other 2 had graduated last year. I feel awful, mainly because I know one of the kids pretty well (thankfully, he only had minor injuries), but at the same time, I almost feel that maybe this will teach my hometown a lesson. IT IS NOT OK TO LET YOUR UNDERAGE CHILDREN DRINK. There is a tradition in Heyworth, IL, that goes something like this: As long as I (the parent) am in the house, and my child's friends leave their keys on the upstairs table, it is okay for them to drink down in the basement. I went to a few such parties when I was back in high school, but I was known as a designated driver. It is a sad day, when 2 of our underage children drink and die, and a sad week after, when all the parents are grateful that their own child is not dead. I blame the parents first, the kids second, and our society third. The parent's receive blame first of all, because they are teaching that it's okay to drink when they're underage. First they do it with their parents, then they don't think there will be any consequences if they do it out in the country with just their friends. Where is the concern and love for their kids? I blame the kids second, because they're always going to push the envelope when it comes to their kids. It's the feeling of, "What can I do next?" And I blame our society third, because no one ever steps out and shows their disapproval of underage drinking.

It is not up to me to judge, because there is One who is the ultimate judge. This blog is merely my frustration. I don't think people realize that their actions will ALWAYS affect other people.

This is for you, Lucas

Well, I had a little free time at work today, so I thought I'd finally create a blog, so Lucas would stop hounding me about it. So, here it is...I can't promise that there will be daily entries, but I'll do my best.

OK, I've read most people's blogs on graduation...(at least the blogs that I faithfully read). I would have to agree with almost all of you. I have definitely outgrown Lincoln, and all her glory. I'm not trying to put myself up on a pedastal, but for some reason, I did not feel at home there, when I was back on Saturday. There were so many things that I thought I would feel happy to see, but when I actually saw them, all I could feel was disorientation. I just didn't feel comfortable being back in the LCC bubble. It was good to see people. I truly miss certain people. Then there are those people that I am merely an acquaintance with, and it was a mutual feeling of "eehh." I don't know how to put my feelings into words, because the feelings haven't quite unwound in my own head.

I think part of the reason I can't quite understand how I felt about the trip was because Justin did NOT want to go. He is fed up with LCC, mainly because they keep messing up graduations for us. Last year, they messed up my graduation, and this year Alan Kline told him he couldn't graduate because his online class with University of Texas hadn't gotten his grade to LCC. He's done with the class, and anyone who knows him, knows that he probably aced the class, but yet he couldn't graduate. Of course, he wasn't told he couldn't graduate until after we had purchased our airline tickets for over $300.00. Alan Kline is a great registrar, I'm sure, but he needs to show a little grace, or at least a little remorse, when he gives bad news.

All in all, the two hours spent in Lincoln, and the 2 1/2 days spent in Illinois were good. I didn't get to see my family like I wanted, but it was a good trip. I am happy to be home in California, because the weather is awesome, I had GREAT friends to pick us up from the airport, and Justin was much happier to be home.